


Death is Inevitable

by Trash_Lord



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, But not yamas mom but dont question it, I murdered yama, M/M, So bassicallt everyone is there, Suicide, Suicide Notes, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 04:30:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6223903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash_Lord/pseuds/Trash_Lord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone dies eventually. Some people even die young. But at the Karasuno volleyball club it's a popular opinion that Yamaguchi Tadashi died too young.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death is Inevitable

Tsukishima Kei was the one to find his body. He found the note on Yamaguchi's desk as well.  
He blames himself for this. 

Sugawara Koushi was the first person on the team (besides Tsukishima of course) to notice something had been bothering Yamaguchi for a while.  
He blames himself too. 

In fact, most of the team tries to blame themselves for not being nicer to Yamaguchi. Or for not noticing something was off. 

Tsukishima brings the note to volleyball practice because he doesn't know what else to do with it (than and some of the other members are mentioned and he figures he owes it to Yamaguchi to bring it to them)  
Tsukishima delivers the news.  
No one else blames Tsukishima. 

"Dear the volleyball club,  
Uhm so I don't really know who I want to find this note? But I figure no one but you guys on the team will really care, plus I owe you guys an explanation for this. So here goes?  
I'd like to state that this is not your fault. Any of you. I did this to myself. I wanted this. Don't blame yourself like a know you will. (Atleast a few of you will)

Sugawara, you are an amazing person, and inspiration to us all really. You're always there to keep the spirits of the team high and it's truly amazing. I've always kinda looked up to you. So I wanted to say thank you. I hope you have a wonderful life Sugawara Koushi. 

Sawamura Daichi, you're a wonderful captain. I couldn't have asked for a better one. I'm sure everyone feels the same honestly. have fun at college okay? 

Asahi, you are always so kind and it was truly awe-inspiring. I hope you have a long anf happy life. 

Kiyoko, thank you for being at wonder manager and person. 

Noya, you're so intense, you and Tanaka both honestly so I hope it's okay that I address the two of you at once. You're both so intense and sort of agressive but protective. It's amazing how you stick up for people, thank you for that.

Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita, I'm sorry I never really got the know the three of you well. I'm sure you're truly amazing. 

Hinata, you were a wonderful friend, I'm thankful for the times we got to share together. Someday you're going to be the best volleyball player ever. You'll see. You and Kageyama as a team. You guys will be so amazing. 

Kageyama, I wish we'd spent more one on one time getting to know eachother better. But even though we didn't I was really greatfull for you being my friend. So thank you. Take care of Hinata, and yourself. 

Yachi, I'm 100% positive you'll make an amazing manager. Everyone already loves you and the first years next year will too. I promise you that. You're so amazing and you'll just keep getting even more amazing as your life goes on. 

and last but not least, Tsukki. I have alot to say to you but I don't want to ramble so I'm gonna try to keep it short.  
I love you. I have for a very long time. I don't know exactly when it started but I know that it feels (felt? Felt I guess, sorry Tsukki!) natural. I never had the courage to tell you though.  
And thank you. Thank you so so so so much for being my first and best friend. You're everything I could have asked for in a friend. promise me you'll move on from me (but don't forget me please!) and have a beautiful life. Go to college, the the degree you really really want, remember that your mom and brother (and me. Even in the after life) will always be proud of you and love you no matter what, settle down with someone if you want. Have an amazing life. Ah I rambled sorry.  
\- Yamaguchi. 

Looking back on this I'm sure you guys deserve a little more so here's the best explanation I have:  
I don't want to be alive anymore. Things have been getting really hard lately and I'm already enough of a dissapointment (mostly to my mom..) and I don't think I could stand it if I became and even bigger dissapointment and so you put that on top of everything else I'm feeling (which is a really long really complicated thing to explain so forgive me for not really trying) I figured now would be an alright time to end my life. I sincerely doubt any of you guys will really miss me that much anyway. I know I'm pretty annoying and I'm not sure how any of you deal with me to be honest.  
So I apologize for leaving without announcement like this. And I apologize bc this note is really really long. I just wanted to make sure I was able to say goodbye to all of you guys.  
I hope all of you have wonderful lives!  
\- Yamaguchi Tadashi"

His note was passed around a (mostly) silent gym.  
Sugawara broke down into tears in Daichis arms, who cried silently into Sugas hair.  
Asahi had to sit down because he was crying to hard to be able to stand up correctly.  
Kiyoko held Yachi as the younger sobbed.  
Hinata broke down into tears and Kageyama wrapped and arm around him as Hinata dragged him to the floor (Kageyama she'd a few years himself)  
The (almost) silence was broken by Noya who whirled on Tsukishima  
"Tell me this is some twisted fucked up joke! Tell me he isn't dead! Come on he can't be! Tsukishima please! Tell me it's not true..."  
He broke into sobs as Tanaka put amd arm around his waist to pull him back and the collapsed onto the group together.  
And Tsukkishima.  
Well Tsukishima had been numb since he found Yamaguchi's body.  
He had been numb when he called the police because he didn't know what else to do.  
He had been numb the whole way to school.  
He's still numb. He cant belive it. He can't (refuses) to belive that Yamaguchi is really actually permanently dead.  
He can't belive that even in his suicide note Yamaguchi was still trying to reasure people. He was still so kind. He acted like he was talking about the weather and that be wasn't delivering the news himself to his team that he was dead.  
Tsukishima couldn't belive that Yamaguchi loved him too but it took a suicide note to be able to see it. 

__________________

At the funeral everybody cried.  
Even Tsukishima.  
Akiteru and his mom were there.  
As we're the entire team and a few members from others teams that had been informed of his death and wanted to pay their respects.  
Kuroo was told because of Tsukishima, Kuroo and Bokuto were mostly there to support him. But to pay respects to Yamaguchi.  
Kenma was told by both Hinata and Kuroo, he was there to support Hinata. Kenma had never gotten a chance to speak to Yamaguchi.  
Even Oikawa Tooru himself was there having somehow gotten wind of the death and had come to say goodbye to the pinch server. 

At the beginning Tsukishima hadn't been crying. He had still be numb. But what finally got him to cry was looking at everyone who had come to the funeral and thinking of the fact the Yamaguchi thought no one would miss him.  
That he was actual better off dead.  
So Tsukishima broke down sobbing. Begging for Yamaguchi to come back to him. Wanting this all to he a terrible dream. He cried and cried and cried until he couldn't anymore.  
he cried for his best friend who went through so much pain.  
He cried for himself. He cried for everyone. But that didn't bring Yamaguchi back. 

___________________

Tsukishima did what Yamaguchi had asked of him as best he could.  
He went to college and got a degree in paleontology. He had more friends now.  
He still saw his Highschool volleyball team (and Kuroo) fairly often.  
He dated Kuroo for a while before they had a mutual break up because it just wasn't working. They stayed friends.  
And he never ever forgot Yamaguchi.  
He visited every year on Yamaguchi's birthday and the date of his death.  
And several times in between those dates too. He'd talk to the grave stone. Complain about school, and kuroo, and Hinata and kageyama (who had been a couple since their second year if highschool) 

Tsukishima Kei never forgot Yamaguchi Tadashi, and he still loved him.  
But it didn't hurt as bad as it did anymore, he still misses him of course, but he doesn't blame himself for his death anymore.

Hes healing.   
Tsukishima Kei will be okay

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a little sorry. This started as me trying to reasure myself that people would care if I died.  
> And then I murdered Yamaguchi.  
> \- Eli ( Trash_Lord )


End file.
